


over and over, i choose you

by kateanderson



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:25:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6729727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kateanderson/pseuds/kateanderson





	over and over, i choose you

June 2015

He had arrived in Scotland with the girlfriend in tow and that look in his eyes. Tessa knew it all too well. She had seen it with Jessica and she had seen it with Cassandra. He was heavier too, than she could remember him ever being. His usual whippet-thin waistline was threatening to spill over the top of his jeans and his face had a roundness to it that made him almost unrecognizable as the man she had shared the ice with for 18 years.

So, she made an effort to get closer to Kaitlyn, to befriend the young woman that her partner had so quickly fallen for a little over a year ago. She hoped that by showing Scott that she was able to get along with her (see! everything is fine!) that he would perk up a bit but instead, he withdrew more and more, leaving the girls to their activities while he nursed a bottle of beer in front of a roaring fire.

Michael and Miku were a lovely couple, along with Johnny Reid and his wife, and Tessa envied the obvious and effusive love they shared. To a round of hearty applause, they took to the small stage in the pub and accompanied only by Michael on the piano, Miku sang of love and heartbreak. Scott was at a small table with Kaitlyn across the room. When she dared sneak a peek at them, he caught her eye and they both knew - this was their song.

 

May 2014

The rush of Sochi was over and Tessa felt like she was staring down into a void of nothingness. Her whole life up to that point had been consumed by one thought - gold medal. The gold medal had evaporated into silver, along with murmurings of scandal and a coach that wasn't on their side and she knew there were tours to do and the other obligatory post-Olympics events but what happened after that? Were they done? Was this it?

Scott had met someone, a young bubbly curler who was sporting a gold medal around her neck. She was different from his other girlfriends and Scott had fallen head over heels in love with her. It had stung, even though she knew he wasn't hers to lose.

"I need to do this, Tess." he said, one night halfway though the Stars on Ice tour. They were in Winnipeg, Kaitlyn's hometown. "I need to give it a shot without training and competitions in the way. I need to be a better boyfriend."

Tessa agreed because maybe she needed to know too who she was without him. That night, she looked up Ryan Semple and sent him a message. Maybe she just needed to be a better girlfriend too.

 

December 2014

She enjoyed living a normal life, she really did. Well, as normal as it could be when she was recognized on a fairly regular basis in the campus library. She and Scott drifted together occasionally for an event and then floated back apart. She knew he had been travelling a lot, going to games to cheer on Kaitlyn. Games? Tournaments? Bonspiels? Whatever curling things were called.

He was in Winnipeg for Christmas, something she knew must pain his mother. The first year that he could really be present for the season and he wasn't. Kaitlyn really must mean a lot to him because she knew how much he valued his family. She was planning to do the requisite celebrations with her own family here and then planned to fly to Whistler with Ryan and spend a week skiing, or whatever it was that people did there.

This was so weird, she thought and felt the hollowness in her chest threaten to engulf her. But, this is what she wanted.

 

July 2015

Beijing was a very long way to go for one show but it paid handsomely and was good publicity, at least that's what her agent told her. He wasn't the one who had to sit on a plane for 16 hours though. A few rows back, Scott was asleep. She could see him if she turned around and tilted her head just so.

She was pretty sure it was over with Kaitlyn. He hadn't said as much but he was looking lighter these days, both figuratively and literally. Part of her felt a twinge of sadness for the other woman but another felt satisfied, selfishly so. He was hers again, at least until he met the inevitable someone new.

After the show and on the suggestion of a fellow skater, they agreed to visit the Great Wall. She had never been and figured why not check another item off the bucket list. In the early morning they tumbled into the backseat of a car and headed off in the light, misting rain.

She'd been thinking a lot, about what was next and she knew Scott had been too. They'd had a few conversations, mostly during the Pan-Am games about maybe, possibly, returning to competition and making another run at the gold. Being here, in a country caught up in the excitement over hosting the Olympics, had solidified it for her. It wasn't over yet.

By the time they arrived at the wall, in a parking lot bustling with tourists despite the rain, they had made some tentative plans and when they got back to Canada, they'd call up Marie-France and Patch and see if they were willing to take on two scraggly orphans, looking for a place to call home.

 

August 2015

Kaitlyn's presence made her a bit nervous, even though she could tell by their overly polite interactions that things were most definitely over between them. In the back of her mind was always the thought that maybe he'd change his mind. Maybe he didn't want to move to Montreal with her, maybe he wanted to rekindle things with Kaitlyn or had met someone back home.

"Good luck," Kaitlyn said before they parted ways. "with everything." She quickly eyed Scott, who was laughing with Michael.

"You too," Tessa said. "with everything." and gave her a quick, awkward hug.

What else was there to say? I'm sorry that for the umpteenth time in 18 years that your boyfriend chose me? They had chosen each other every time they made the decision to skate another season, she had chosen him over ballet, they had chosen to move to Kitchener, then to Canton and now to Montreal.

I choose you, Tessa thought and caught Scott's eye and smiled.

 

February 2016

Everything was in place and soon it would be set in stone. No going back. They were backstage, just moments away from their big announcement and he squeezed her hand. "You're sure?" he asked and she nodded and five minutes later, it was official.

Congratulations poured in, even from those that had already known. She was excited, so excited to embark on the next stage of this journey. Her stomach churned a bit as she thought of the hard work ahead of them - she'd have to find an apartment in Montreal, the hours and hours of training and what if they failed? What if it didn't work out the way they had planned it to?

With a weary sigh, Scott flopped down in the seat next to her. She knew he shared her same fears and somehow that was comforting. Everything about him had always been comforting. She had feared, once upon a time, that she couldn't do anything without him but the past two years had proven that false. She could do everything without him and she had but together, it was better.

 

April 2016

They weren't together but they weren't not together either. She had waited for the telltale signs that he had met someone since he had ended things with Kaitlyn but they never came. Skaters were a gossipy bunch and she knew there were whispers about them in Japan and in Geneva but she paid no mind. People had been saying things about them since they had first taken each other's hand so long ago.

Even though it meant only getting one day at home before jetting off to Halifax, she had chosen to spend an extra day in Geneva. With Scott. This was new territory for them both, this togetherness that extended to off the ice. But it was good and it was easy. Being with Scott was so easy.

When she arrived home, or rather to the cottage where her mom and her recently arrived home to Canada sister were staying, it was only Jordan who point blank asked her what she and Scott were doing. She didn't really have an answer for her, only a shrug.

"You two are impossible!" Jordan said with a magnificent sigh.

Later that day, in the middle of re-packing, her phone chimed with a message, from Jordan, who was in the other room. It was a link to an article titled, "8 Signs Your Partner Truly Loves You". It was clickbait, pure and simple, but she clicked anyway and scanned the list.

"Not true, Jord!" she yelled, throwing her phone back down on her bed. It was, actually, all of them but she didn't want to give her sister the satisfaction.

The only response from the other room was a muffled scream.

 

May 2016 

The tour was ending in Victoria this time around rather than Vancouver. A pretty city by the sea, lit up with sunshine and flowers. The usual group, minus Kurt as he had bid them adieu after Vancouver, went golfing and then they splintered, each skater and a few in pairs going their separate ways.

Scott lingered at her side, her hand securely tucked into his. They had the whole evening to themselves and what to do? They settled for dinner at a restaurant with an outdoor patio on the other side of the harbour and she watched the sunset behind him, the rays of orange light hitting his hair.

Her two week vacation that was planned between the end of the tour tomorrow night and the start of training consisted mostly of staying at the cottage with her mom and Jordan, assuming she hadn't found a job already. She was tired, tired of travelling and just wanted to have her feet in one place for longer than two days. But she was struck by a sudden desire to not leave, much like she had been in Geneva.

"What if we stayed here." she said.

"Here?" Scott gestured grandly, to the restaurant and the harbour.

"Well, not at this restaurant but here, in Victoria, for a few days."

It was presumptuous, she knew, to assume that he didn't have plans but he hadn't said anything to her. No beach vacations with the girlfriend du jour. There was no girlfriend du jour, except maybe... 

"Sure." he replied, with a shrug. 

The cottage could wait.


End file.
